Hello blog

Written yesterday…                                                              

 I have been debating whether or not to pick back up my blog.  It’s been so long since I had the time or energy to write.  I was too exhausted in the last 2 months of pregnancy to write and then having a new born hasn’t left me with much time or interest in blogging.  Bennett suggested that I might find it helpful to write about Ian’s birth, and I spent the morning doing that.  It reminded me that I usually enjoy my blogging so I’ve decided to see how it goes.  I’m still deciding if I want to post my write up from this morning or maybe an edited shortened version, but for now, post-partum running…

I had a checkup 2 weeks after Ian was born and of course one of the first things I asked was how soon can I run.  I had a post baby plan all thought through and honestly it didn’t involve getting a doctor’s permission to run or not run.  I know my body well enough to judge myself under normal circumstances.  But that was when the birth was going to go as planned, with little to no interventions.  Since we ended up with a C-section, I thought it would be smarter to actually check with the doctor.  I was healing well so he told me at 4 weeks to go for a power walk, and if it felt ok, I could start running.  But if I had any pain in the incision…well I shouldn’t so listen to my body and that would mean I was doing too much.  I cheated a bit and started lifting at week 3 since I felt good.  I had managed to continue lifting until the week before Ian was born.  With only a few weeks off it wasn’t too hard to ease back into it.

At exactly 4 weeks post-partum I was on the treadmill.  Not only did I not have anyone to run with outside, but running on the treadmill meant if it hurt, I could just stop.  I was afraid I wouldn’t even make it through the 5k run I had planned since I hadn’t run at all since late January.  Happily, I got through 5k without hurting or needing to stop!  It was pretty slow though and the next day I was sore…kind of humbling…

A successful first run made me immediately jump to the question of how fast I can build back up my distance and weekly mileage without hurting myself.   I’m still playing around with that question 3 weeks later.

4 weeks Post-partum running week 1: 2 5k runs and a 4 mile run

5 weeks postpartum running week 2: 2 3 mile runs and a 5 mile run

6 weeks post-partum running week 3: a 3 mile run, a 4 mile run, a 5 mile run, and a 6 mile run

I’ve been pretty happy with my progress, although all treadmill running gets a little boring.  Several of my runs had to be interrupted for emergency baby tending, definitely showing me that running seriously with a baby is going to be a whole different experience. 

Exercise bike!

After 2 frustrating weeks of running, I am officially giving up on running as my main source of cardio exercise.  I can’t run more than about a mile and a half without my abs and back hurting.  I’m so used to running through healthy discomfort, but I think this is my body saying no more than that distance.  Sometimes I’ve been able to walk some and then get in another mile, but walking ruins any cardio aspect to the run.  It’s so hard not to just grit through it, and so humbling to be hurting after only a mile and a half.

This is very sad for me!  Sad because I love running and sad because I really expected my body to handle running better till the end.  It just goes to show that no matter what kind of shape you are in pre-pregnancy, the body has a mind of its own. 

So, after sulking about it and being cranky for days, I had a breakthrough.  We have a listserv of Capitol Hill families, and I decided to see if anyone in the neighborhood had an exercise bike they would be willing to loan us.  I didn’t really have high hopes, but it couldn’t hurt. Well, I am now looking at the lovely exercise bike that will be living in our house for the next two months!  And they wouldn’t even let me give them anything to “rent” it!  I’m feeling pretty good about people today and looking forward to the nice bike ride and some uninterrupted cardio that I’m about to have! 

If I can’t force my body to run, I can at least keep up some cardio endurance for the post childbirth return to real running!  Thanks to the wonderful Megan, who has agreed to run with me this fall, I can start planning for my fall marathon as a way to keep myself sane.

Feeling irritable and dejected…

It seems the last month has been a downward slide of athletic ability, and I find this very frustrating.  I scaled back to nothing longer than 6 miles in December, with the hope that that at least was something I could keep up for a while.  Now, I am not even sure about a 6 mile run being possible over the next few months and that is just depressing.   

I don’t know if it was getting to 30 weeks or a tipping point in weight gain, but I feel like this week even compared to last week was very different.  This week has been full of bad runs with none of them more than 4 miles.  Even those 4 mile runs included a stop to pee or walk because of a leg or side cramp.  It’s almost more frustrating to run, than not run because of how little I can do.  I know that’s the wrong attitude; that I should run, or run/walk, what I can and be happy I’m active…but I just can’t get my head there. 

Today brought a new source of irritation.  I had bought one of the maternity support belts earlier in the week, and it arrived today.  Several people have recommended that I get one for running and told me how helpful it was.  I checked reviews from runners, and there were a lot of positive comments.  I tried it out today, and it didn’t really help much at all.  It wasn’t comfortable, and I think actually made my back feel worse.  It might have helped my lower abs a bit, but I still felt like my lower part of my rib cage was irritating my upper abs as I moved my body.  I’ll give it a second chance on Sunday I guess…

I’m so frustrated with this lack of activity.  Sadly, I don’t have a gym membership so that is really limiting my options for other types of exercise.  We have a public indoor pool near me, but I’ve never been good at sharing swimming lanes with other people.  People keep telling me to walk, but even putting the treadmill on an incline, I can’t get much of a workout unless I walk so fast that I’m having the same type of discomfort as I have while running.  I guess this is what comes from being in too good of shape before getting pregnant, but not being one of those people whose body allows them to maintain a quality level of mileage.  It’s really irritating that my level of fitness and mental discipline can’t force my body to let me keep going at a level I want.  I really need to find a free spinning bike to use between now and March to fill in what running can’t do for me…next

Scaling back

I have come to a few realizations this week about running during this pregnancy… 

The first being that it is officially time to stop running in my lighter weight shoes.  Every time I do, my feet, ankles, and calves/shins really are uncomfortable.  It’s like the whole lower half of my leg is rebelling against the extra weight.  Even on a 3 mile run it doesn’t feel good.  I’m still surprised though that it’s not my knees causing me problems…

So, it’s time to only run in my pair of more supportive cushioned shoes.  When I wear my Nike Pegasus, only my lower abdomen and lower back are uncomfortable.  This is considerably better. 

The second is it might be time to scale back on the distance of my long run.  I had in my head that I wanted to keep up a 10 mile long run as long as possible.  Why you might ask?  Well I have no idea.  It’s just what I got in my head.  However, the last 2 miles of my 8 mile run this week felt considerably worse than the first 6 miles.  Perhaps it is time to give up on that 10 mile goal.  I might try another 8 mile run next week to see how it feels, but it might be time to not run more than 6 miles.  It’s so hard to tell because any given run can feel very different than the next run.  With my body constantly changing, my comfort levels are definitely not stagnant. 

I’ve settled on a more realistic goal.  For as long as possible, I’d like to run at least 20 miles a week. I can get to 20 miles a week with so many combinations of run distances with nothing needing to be over 6 miles.  If 6 miles starts to feel bad, as long as I can run 4 miles I can still easily get to 20.  I don’t realistically see myself running more than 5 days a week so if I can’t run 4 miles then it’s time to give up on mileage goals and just try and run walk.  I’ll just hope I don’t get to that point though…

Pregnancy goods and bads...

First, I will confess to not getting my run in today.  It’s sad to finish a really good active week by skipping my run, but this was more a necessity than laziness as yesterday’s painting prep errands took longer than expected making there be more cleaning/painting prep for this morning.  The main goal of the weekend was getting the baby room painted, which we did thanks to help from Erinn and Mike!  But now, for a less running oriented post…

Each week in prenatal yoga we go around the room and do introductions: our name; how far along in pregnancy we are; and where we are giving birth.  There’s also some sort of question we all answer to share with each other.  Yesterday’s question was what is the best and worst thing about this pregnancy so far?  The whole way around the room, I was pondering different options.  I could think of lots of good things and lots of bad things, but deciding on the best and worst was really hard for me. 

Some of the thoughts I had for the worst things were…

I am already ready to have my body back to myself.  I know my intention to breastfeed means that pregnancy won’t be the end of sharing my body with this baby, and the thought of that extra chest encumbrance during marathon training worries me (currently struggling to find new sports bras).  Even so, I’m still ready to have my body move like it is supposed to.  I’m ready to have a glass of wine, and at least less of a concern about caffeine intake.  I’m ready to go for a good long run without extra weight.  I’m ready to sleep on my stomach and my back if I want to. 

Another bad/annoying thing is people’s reactions to comments about changes in my body shape.  Lately, every time I say anything about feeling big or some pregnancy change getting in the way of normal movement, I hear something along the lines of “you aren’t big yet” and “if you think you feel big now” and just “your’s still small.”  All of which are annoying because  what  I am referring to has more to do with body awareness and the spatial orientation of my body to the things around me.  Since I can’t see everything around me, my own sense of body and spatial orientation is much more important to me than to the average person.  Years of running have focused that body awareness in additional ways.  My coworkers, especially, like to react as though I’m complaining about aesthetics. 

Some of the good things I thought about…

Well I’m now 6 months along which means about 2/3 of the way through!!!  I enjoy (most of the time) feeling little squiggle baby move around in there, although its level of energy concerns me somewhat for when it’s in the real world.  I think the most fun thing is actually Bennett’s reactions to everything…from feeling squiggle baby move to things we learn in our childbirth class to hearing the heart beat at each midwife appointment.  All those things are great to experience myself, but somehow it’s more fun to see Bennett react to them. J

Return from laziness

This has been a really good running/being active week for me.  In my last post I was feeling very lazy, and that laziness definitely continued.  In about a week and a half covering Thanksgiving and the weekend before and after, I managed all of one 6 mile run and one yoga class.  Being at my Grandma’s in PA for Thanksgiving definitely was a large part of that, so maybe saying it was pure laziness isn’t exactly right. 

I knew I wouldn’t run while I was in PA, but I had hopes of getting back early enough Saturday for a run and running on Sunday.  This definitely did not happen.  Maybe its laziness or maybe it’s being pregnant.  I was exhausted when we got back late Saturday afternoon.  I hadn’t slept as well while we were gone, and I had no energy.  Really I don’t sleep all that well most nights these days, which everyone likes to tell me is normal when you are pregnant, but I had been sleeping extra not good.  

I woke up Sunday morning hoping to feel ready to do something active…productive…but neither happened.  My body was definitely telling me to take the day and relax which I did :).  By the end of the day, however, I was feeling rested and like a completely useless lazy fatty!  

So, I am happy to say that I’ve had a very successful week…

Monday: ran 3 miles in the evening

Tuesday:  Lifted in the morning

Wednesday: ran 5 miles in the evening

Thursday: lifted in the morning

Friday: 6 miles in the evening

And Yoga planned for tomorrow and hopefully 8-10 miles on Sunday!

Laziness…

*written Friday evening

Since I wrote my last post, I have been doing really well on running and mileage.  This is somewhat surprising because the past two weeks my work schedule has been all over the place with a three day grants training last week and a two day meeting this week, both of which made me lose my Wednesday telework day.  But today I simply do not feel like running.  I’m not tired and I feel fine.  I just absolutely do not feel like running.  I guess if I can’t sneak in a skip because I’m lazy day in here and there when I’m pregnant, when can I?  But at the same time I feel guilty.  Part of me is saying get your lazy butt up and run, and the other part is saying its ok to not just don’t make it a habit…