This week is going by so slowly. My anxious anticipation for Sunday is making it seem like it will never come. And yet, I can’t believe how close the marathon actually is; it seems surreal. It’s comforting to read the posts on the MCM Facebook page and know that others are obsessing as much as I am.
I want it to be Sunday, and yet I’m afraid of Sunday. I want this marathon so bad, not just to finish, but to do well. I know finishing is doing great for a first marathon and that I should not worry about my time, but that’s easier said than done. Maybe since the time I want is so possible, it makes me want it more.
I am a competitive person. Not in the traditional sense that I have to win, but I am very competitive with myself. I want to do the best that I can do. I want all these hours of training to pay off in a finishing time that I know should be possible. I know that running the best race I can, however, given whatever conditions we face on race day should be enough.
So much is out of my hands now. I put in the training, and now all I can do is eat healthy, rest, and obsess over the weather and what to wear. This preoccupation is making it difficult to focus on work and other things. I definitely have a one track mind for the moment J
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